Epiph

I was getting ready to post a comment on someone’s thread on Ravelry when I had an epiphany:  I bring up my age in conversations not so much because I’m really paranoid about my age, but because I’m paranoid about being 29, single, childless, and with no prospects on the horizon.  I desperately want to whinge about it, but I know that people’s responses are going to be “oh, you’re not that old.  God has the right one.”  Blah blah.  It’s easy to say when you’re 22, with a boyfriend or married.  I should know, I said it enough.  But eventually you start to realize it’s not really true.  Eventually, there is such a thing as “too old”; the guys are married, divorced, or gay.  And you know, God might not have a “right one” for me.  For some reason I might be destined to be a lonely spinster, and won’t that just be jolly.

Usually I start to hem and haw a bit at this point, because honestly, my life is good, I enjoy a lot of things about being single, but for this post, I’m going to leave it.  I don’t always like being alone.  The sight of a solitary future fading away in front of me isn’t comforting.  A lifetime of being single doesn’t really appeal to me.

Dear future sister-in-law

She’s going to be your mother-in-law in a month.

We get to integrate you into our family, so I think a little more effort on your part would be nice.  Although I like you, you’re crazy and apparently haven’t learned what is and isn’t appropriate to say.  Work on that.

We’re willing to get past the fact that you have been institutionalized and have more baggage than a train station; obviously we’re less than perfect as well and have great baggage of our own.  We’re a little less willing to get past the fact that you seem to intend to do nothing about any of it and will probably drag my little brother down with you.

I think a little more gratitude for the fact that my dad replaced the light fixture in your bathroom with a beautiful new one and unclogged your bath tub would be nice; in fact, any gratitude at all would have been an improvement.  I know they tend to plan projects and be a little overbearing, believe me, I know, but you could have been just a tad more gracious about the whole thing.  Try smiling and saying “I know you’re trying to help with our house, but right now we’re a little overwhelmed with the wedding and moving in.  Thank you for the ideas and maybe when things get settled down a bit we can look into them.”  They will move heaven and earth for you if you’re civil to them.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is quit making my mom cry.  And if you make my brother sorry he married you, I’m not going to be happy.

Love (minus points for turning this visit into a total downer.  See: Mom crying),

Me