Anxiety II

You know, it’s a little hard to tell if your meds are causing your anxiety or not when you’re in danger of being laid off. My shrink was wanting me to go on Xanax, but the nice lady at the Community Health Center doesn’t want to prescribe it since apparently it’s highly addictive! Instead, I need to start walking at least four days a week, since that seems to take the edge off the anxiety. I’m starting to think I just need to come off my meds completely, although since I just got qualified for the patient assistance program…. And I’m so sleepy it’s hard to think, evn with nine hours sleep last night! Will this NEVER END??? Seriously, it’s like one things goes away and then there’s another problem. Money, moods, meds, relationships, religion, just ack! And I don’t know what to do about the job situation, since there aren’t exactly loads of jobs out there waiting to be discovered.

Yes!!

I just got my acceptance letter from the Bristol-Myers Squibb Patient Assistance Program!! I can afford my medication! I have a doctor’s appointment on Monday and I’m going to ask for a prescription for Zanax (sp?) just in case the anxiety starts spiking again, but it is such a relief to know that I can start working on getting my medications to the correct level. My anxiety is letting up somewhat, but the constant stress of NOT having enough work to do is definitely messing with my moods. Not to mention, when is it going to be spring already??? I can’t believe I’m actually yearning for summer! This may be a first in my life.

Uuuuuuuuuuugh

Sorry about the lack of posting, but one of the side effects of either the lower level of meds or of the meds themselves is the fact that I am going CRAZY! I think that if I could have my nice doctor back, things would be much, much better, but at this point I’m kinda running blind. After my horrendous anxiety attacks last month, my interim doctor dropped me down to 5mg, but the message my psychiatrist left on my phone last night says she thinks I need to up my medication and start taking Zanax. And blast it, I’m really wanting something, because this anxiety is just wretched. In general, this is probably the worst side effect that I’ve had with Abilify. I’m also wondering if the season is having a more serious affect on me this year or something. Cabin fever… I haz it! Anyway, just a note that I’m not dead, just that the anxiety tends to make me less likely to write anything down. You should see my food journal/regular journal!