Does is make me a bad person that even though I’m reading her blog, I’m not posting, even when she has posted a plaintive wail about no one reading/posting? Or did the bad person point come when I decided that I no longer want to continue our friendship, at least not in its cloying, suffocating form? Or because I don’t think we have anything to discuss and I have no desire to “fix” things? Or is it because, even though I understand that it’s caused by mental illness and learned behaviors, I can not tolerate her whining victimization about things over which she does have at least a modicum of control? I know it’s because I’ve griped about her behind her back.
Because a good, well-balanced person would be there for her and wouldn’t tell her to push off after ten years. But I wanted out of this friendship six years ago. I’m tired of the veiled comments: “it’s been much easier to dwell on the negative,” “without crossing any lines of whatever.”
But I haven’t really missed her at all for the last two months. Maybe that’s what makes me bad.
Posted by melindam 