Testing. Testing. One, two, three.

I know that I’m supposed to despise Microsoft for being a huge corporation and a money-grubbing, repressive corporation, but dude, they put out some sweet programs.  This is a test run of the Windows Live Writer, to see how it works with my blog so I can blog at work without appearing to do so, terrible person that I occasionally am.  And before anyone with a Mac starts yelling at me, I know!!  If I ever get a laptop it may very well be a Mac, but at this point, no tengo el dinero, so I might as well get to know the product I have.

Meh.

So, do you ever get to the point where there is so much that you want to say that you just can’t say it? I keep wanting to blog about things going on in my life, but I can’t get the right words, or I’m afraid of what people will think. Which is ridiculous considering that the whole purpose of this blog is for me to express myself! *rolls eyes* Honestly.

So, I suppose that after my last post I ought to at least explain what happened. About a month or so after my ill-fated call and right before I went to Mexico for a week with my father on a mission trip, Joel’s mom told me that he told her that he hadn’t gotten my message, something about his phone not registering that I had called. I went to Mexico, came back, and got a phone call. Fifteen minute conversation, and, ladies and gentlemen, we may be over this soon. In fact, I mostly am, just that when I get depressed (more on that in a moment) the whole freaking mess just comes crashing back.

Next, my mother. *long pause* How do I talk about this? My mother left the church I attend a little over ten years ago and she was…. bitter. It’s like living in a kind of broken home: my dad and I still went to the same church and my mom didn’t and made sure we knew why. I love my mom, a lot, but we have all baggage from our parents and I have mine, not all from the church thing, either. Anyway, a couple weeks ago my mother got right with God and now…. now, I’m dealing with the fact that my mother seems to have the peace that I haven’t been able to find for years. Oh yeah, and she was just diagnosed with a form of bi-polar disorder, which my grandmother also has, which means that, surprise! I appear to have lost at genetic roulette. So now, she’s trying to help me get in touch with why I am the way I am (it’s happened before), but this time we have her trying to talk to me about God. I kinda mentioned it to my pastor sorta in passing as we were talking about Mom’s experience, and all I can say is that he’s too perceptive by half. I wanted to talk to him anyway about the circumstances surrounding my break up with Joel and my general relationship with his family. *another long pause*

On a happier note, here is a link to Crazy Aunt Purl. This woman is an inspiration; oh yeah, and hilarious! She’s got attitude and then some, plus some insights into life that are kind of nice to hear.