Headway made on packing the last two days: nil.
Amount of stuff in the living room: doubled.
Number of free weekends before moving: none.
Number of friends who want to do something before I leave: four and counting.
Necessary state of belongings: halved.
Workload: tripled, somehow (is Tax Day back and no one told me?).
State of shower drain: unplugged (finally).
Number of cousins who have volunteered/been volunteered to help me move: three.
Number of free evenings until I move: I’m tired, go away.
Level of panic: eh, it’s three weeks. I can get packed in three weeks, right? I mean, I have plenty of time to shove things in boxes, sort out what I don’t want, recycle it, throw it away, donate it, etc. Right? It’s not like I need all of this stuff anyway. I’m sure I can get rid of most of it, no problem.
……….. oh dear heavens, someone help me………………..
Which means that I can make it here, since it is, indeed, Official.
I am moving to Salem.
I am equal parts terrified and exhilarated, and it’s strange to flop back and forth and then squiggle in a bizarre mix of the two. I am so excited to have new opportunities and to escape certain people (certain people, I AM LOOKING AT YOU!!) and to explore a new area, but I am so scared of how things are going to change here while I’m gone and never be the same again, and of the endless possibility for failure. And then I remember that I have same possibility here; it’s all a matter of perspective.
One of the things I’m really looking forward to is (brace yourselves, this is totally out of character): a kitchen!! (Okay, so perhaps not that much out of character.) Also, someone to eat food with me. My cousin is going to be moving in with me and we both like new and different (and usually healthy) foods, so I’ll finally get to mess around with some of the recipes I’ve been yearning to try. We have the hope, as well, that we can motivate each other to more exercise and better lifestyle choices in general. (Listen, girls gotta have dreams, ya know?)
During a knitting group conversation comparing BDSM and dominionist cultures and their remarkable parallels tonight, I also realized that, after a fashion, my cousin and I will be entering into a domestic partnership in the most literal sense of the words. We are going to be living together in order to reduce the amount of stress caused by having individual, solitary(ish) households. I really hope I can find a knitting group that is this cool………. If not, I guess I’ll just have to start another one!
It’s a virtue I haven’t ever really had in spades. At least one more day, probably two, and the whole time I have to pretend everything is going as normal. Waiting……
P.S. Is it a sign of stress, do you think, that I had a tumbleweed of hair drift across my bathroom floor this morning?
It can arrive as a phone call.
Sometimes it comes out of nowhere, sneaking into the day along with the morning brew of whatever and the second or third phone call, or with the clouds. Sometimes, a day that should be fine and perfectly ordinary becomes sad and lonely, and even fresh cookies from Great Harvest don’t make it better. Sometimes, the fact that it is usually comfortable to be alone is completely irrelevant and the only truth is a hug desperately needed, even though no one is close enough to cuddle.
Sometimes, the only recourse is to go to bed and believe that tomorrow will be better. Today was one of those days, but tomorrow will be better.
With that being his reaction to getting a sweater, is it any wonder I have another one on the needles already?? Not with stripes this time, simply because I think I would go mad, but a sweater nonetheless. I also have one going for the new nephew, but I doubt it will be received with as much joy by any party concerned. I’m pretty the sweater above will be worn until there are holes in it…
If at first you don’t succeed, turn in an application to every job for which you may even remotely qualify!
It’s my new mantra. I’m headed up to Salem for a Thursday interview for another position, this time an Administrative Specialist, which starts out a pay step lower than the PSR4, but still having the benefit of being in the main Revenue building, where there are a lot more job opportunities. I should probably practice being charming and witty before then , get myself into the proper form…. Granted, this position is going to have a much easier learning curve, and I don’t plan on staying in it for all that long, but getting it is the first hurdle.
We recently had an employee survey, with space for comments, and a theme I noticed was that a lot of people feel like it matters more who you know than what you can do. I can definitely see how that would work, and I’m not saying it’s particularly fair, but I think a lot of the people commenting are interpreting it incorrectly. Instead of saying, “hmm, maybe I’d better start getting to know people if I want to change positions,” they’re sticking at “I’m never going to get hired out of this position because I just don’t know the right people, so I may as well become bitter and stagnate.”
I’m choosing to approach this whole job search as one giant opportunity to learn. What is good about my resume? How can I better explain what I have done in past positions? Do I need to change how I present myself in the interview? Are there projects I can take on in my current position that will increase my exposure to and chances of working with other managers? Is it possible to wipe out the story about me threatening to shank my coworker with a letter opener that has apparently made its way to Salem?
This kind of journey has many life lessons scattered along the path, like marbles scattered on the floor, to be picked up as we tread on them on our way to get a drink of water in the middle of the night….