Ugh. You know that relative, in my case that one relative out of over forty immediate family members, who is determined to control, manipulate, and denigrate so that she might feel better about herself? Well, mine is back. As discussed in a previous post, my aunt (uncle’s wife) has issues. As they were previously directed only at me, I was fine with just cutting her out of my life as much as possible without causing drama. Unfortunately, the introduction of Kris & Co. has given her a new in, and last weekend she went for it with gusto, and now she is trying to get me to react so she can have the satisfaction of pretending she did nothing wrong.
I hate this. I hate that she has been allowed to do this to my family for the last almost 30 years, I hate that she decided to turn on me two years ago, and I really, really, really hate that she would use my boyfriend and his daughter to try and hurt me.
Kris and I watched her latch his daughter into a high chair seat that was sitting on the floor and walk away, leaving the little girl sitting there, unhappy, but not terrified because, whaddya know, we were watching and went to get her immediately upon realizing what my aunt had done. It doesn’t seem like much, I get it, but she did it deliberately, to someone, a child, that I had just introduced to the family for the first time, and who I am planning on making a permanent part of my life.
Kris and I discussed it, and we were fine with just leaving it lie and making sure that she was never in a position to be left alone or unobserved with his daughter again. This morning I woke up to a message from Aunt on Facebook asking if she had done something to make me angry with her. I can only assume that she has figured out that I have her blocked from most of my posts, mainly because I don’t want her in my life but I don’t want to cause trouble with the rest of our (MY) family. And I know that confronting her about this is just going to end badly, from the reading on passive-aggression I just did. She is simply looking to start a fight, and I think it’s all because she was warned, probably by my wonderful uncle, to leave Kris alone at the family thing.
I’m totally torn at this point. My dad thinks I should just pretend I never got the message. This is not surprising at all, given that Dad is just as confrontation-adverse as I am, but it’s what we’ve all been doing with this aunt for the last however many years. I know that if I try to confront her, she is simply going to blow it up and make it a problem that she will use to try and wedge me away from whoever she can. However, what she is doing is wrong. Of course, to make it all worse, she is one of those preaching, let-me-give-you-a-hug-and-pray-with-you church people, making sure that everyone knows how righteous she is. I say this with burning rancor because I go to church, I know what it means to be a Christian, and hurting other people to make yourself feel better, well, it’s certainly not in the version of the Bible that I grew up with.
Sigh. The older I get, the more I want to go off-grid, because the worst people are the ones who will never change. ……….. I need a hug……….. and possibly a pastry.